Q: Does Prayer and Fasting really work?

A: Yes it does!

40 Days for Life does indeed work through the intercession of our Lord, Christ Jesus!
Just take a look at these numbers:



Rite For The Blessing Of A Child In The Womb

The next Sidewalk Advocates for Life training in Pensacola is Saturday, August 23rd from 9 AM until 2 PM at Little Flower Parish in Pensacola, 6495 Lillian Hwy. Please RSVP by e-mailing us at eccflife@gmail.com or calling 850-889-1035 by Thursday, August 21.  Since beginning this training program in Pensacola in April 2014, we have been able to help 22 mothers choose life and assist 2 workers leave Pensacola’s last remainig abortion facility!  All glory to God!  Be a part of the movement that is changing the face of pro-life in Pensacola!

On Tuesday, July 1 at 8 PM CST, Sidewalk Advocates for Life will host the “Game-Changer” teleconference and webcast.  This webcast will feature stories from local communities that have adopted the techniques taught by Sidewalk Advocates for Life.  Pensacola will be featured, as our very own program director, Dr. Ernie Cyr, will be a special guest highlighting the many successes seen because of the training provided by Sidewalk Advocates for Life!  This event will also feature Dr. Pat Castle, Lauren Muzyka, Abby Johnson, Destiny Herndon-De La Rosa, Dan Miller and Kathy Forck.  This is an event you will not want to miss so reserve your spot today!

Sign up here!  http://sidewalkadvocates.org/webcast/

Thursday, as I was driving away from the abortion facility, I saw Ernie Cyr, leaning next to a car window, talking to a young woman who had pulled over to the side of the road. He was giving her a flyer with all of the local resources and options available to her that wouldn’t result in an abortion. I literally did a double take. We have loads of people standing outside the facility that can’t get a conversation started with the men and women walking through the parking lot to save their lives and Ernie gets one started with a woman driving down the road! I immediately said “How does he do that?” So I asked him. He said “It’s the sidewalk advocacy training.”

Yes, it is true, the training program from Sidewalk Advocates for Life has assisted myself and others trained, in the establishment of a well thought out game plan.  Instead of guessing at words to say, you are equipped with best practices, that maximize your effectiveness as a sidewalk advocate.

After our last training in March, I have practiced the skills introduced by this wonderful program and I have noticed a HUGE difference in how mothers and fathers react to us.  I have been able to personally speak with several mothers and hand them life-saving literature.  At least 8 mothers have chosen life and hundreds of mothers have been given life-saving information.  Not to mention, the meainingful dialogue that has been established between those trained in the strategy of advocacy and the clinic workers.  Never have I given out so much literature.  When y0u couple these approaches with prayer in front of the abortion facility you have a very effective strategy for ending abortion in Pensacola.

One of the abortion facility workers, who quit just a few weeks ago, gave us some affirmation regarding the effectiveness of this training program.  She said, “Keep doing what we are doing because women are changing their minds!”  Need anymore proof that the Sidewalk Advocates for Life training program is a “Game-Changer?”


So if you want to “get your conversation started” then come to the Sidewalk Advocacy training next Saturday, June 21!  It is from 10-3 at St. Sylvester’s in Navarre, Classroom 1.  There is a cost of $25 dollars for the lunch and training materials provided.  RSVP to this event via e-mail eccflife@gmail.com or call 850-889-1035.

For Their Lives,





Last week, Pensacola lost two young pro-life advocates, David and Gregory Florian.  David Florian, 26, was an active participant with 40 Days for Life Pensacola and was a member of the Emerald Coast Coalition for Life (ECCFL) and an active participant in the ECCFL education team.  David also prayed each Thursday with his siter Rosa in front of Pensacola’s last remaining abortion facility.  Below is Rosa’s reflection and her challenge to us all.  Will you stand by idly when your neighbor’s life is at stake?  (scroll down)
You shall not go about spreading slander among your kinsmen; nor shall you stand by idly when your neighbor’s life is at stake. I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:16
I have heard and memorized the traditional 10 commandments all my life, but there is a slightly different version that came up in the daily mass readings a couple of months ago.  This particular verse of that reading has stayed with me and stuck in my ears.  It rings in my ears because this is the sin that I think our country will be convicted of.  Those who are politically motivated call the baby a blob of tissue or a lump of cells (spreading slander and lies about the unborn).  This is used to convince many of a right to abortion so many good Catholics even stand by idly while our neighbor’s life is at stake.  I used to think that I should be going to the abortion mill to pray during the killing hours.  But I was homeschooling my children and taking several children out to the mill in the middle of the day is quite a project.  Finally I found a way to slip it into our schedule.  Then it became a need.  When I was pregnant with Raphael (who died of anencephaly) I felt it.  When I had a miscarriage I felt it.  Now that my brothers have died, especially David who used to go out there and pray with me I feel it the need to be out there.  Today we went to 9:00 am mass at St. Mary’s and then to the abortion mill to pray the rosary.  Usually I am in a hurry because I have to feed the children and get David to voice lessons by 12:00 noon.  Today David was sick and so I left him behind and took the youngest four and decided to stay a little longer.  Doris was there with Jasmine and Jenna we were talking and this woman pulled in. She stepped out of the car not 20 feet from me she was close enough I could have spoken to her.  I wanted to speak to her so badly, but I did not want to speak at her. I did not want to yell out some meaningless phrase that would only make her block us out even more.  I wished that I could sit down with her on the couch and have a talk or share a cup of coffee and listen what had brought her to this point.  I wished that I could walk along side her as she approached the door to really speak to her heart.  But I was frozen I could not think of any words; no words would do.  I prayed to Our Lord please let my brother David walk with her follow her into that place that I could not go and speak to her heart of the love of God for her.  I had the feeling of Jesus nailed to the cross watching while the person He is dying for commits a mortal sin.  He does not intervene or take away their free will.  He does not leave the cross He stays.  He loves that person immensely in their sin and He offers Himself to the Father in their stead.  He says, “Father forgive them they know not what they do.”  I felt my heart transfixed with that sword of sorrow from which caused blood and water to flow from His side and an ocean of mercy pour forth upon us.  I prayed that ocean of mercy upon those in that mill and I asked Our Lord to send my brothers David and Gregory, my son Raphael, and my friend James Cane from heaven into that mill to speak to the hearts of all those inside.  There are no words to describe the evil in there.  This place was so busy today it looked like a McDonald’s drive thru.  I saw a woman walking towards the door and I had an image us being best friends some day and her telling a the story of when she first met me the crazy woman praying on the other side of the parking line.  I have often thought too that those babies being aborted could be the one God intended as the future spouse for my child.  It could be my grandchildren being murder or at the chance of them existing being murdered.  That is how I feel when I stand out there that though I don’t know these men and women they are my closest family and friends that I don’t know yet and they are in their darkest hour their worst trial.  I could accept the death of my brothers with peace and joy because I knew them to be in the state of grace and I believe with all the prayers and masses that have been offered for them I cannot think of them anywhere, but heaven.  How can I really be sorry for them or myself they have reached their goal they have won the prize!  Oh death where is your sting?  But at the mill it is so different, innocent babies are being murdered, people are walking in and committing mortal sin, walking out as empty tombs white washed sepulchers that are rotting within.  For this I can truly feel sorrow for this I can grieve more deeply than the loss of my brothers, even David whom I was so close too.  I am constantly thinking he will come up to me at any moment or that I see him as I walk out the church doors, but for him I am joyful.  No I cry for those dear unknown friends, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ whom I love that walk into that place of death. Do you understand my two twenty something year old brothers died and it made the news, it was a terrible tragedy they were good men and much loved, but there are babies probably 50+ today that died that will not make the news.  No one will mourn them in public.  There will be no line of people offering condolences and viewing their coffins.  There will be no hugs for their mother or father telling them, “we are sorry for your loss”.  There will be no obituary in the papers.  There will be no funeral procession or burial.  These babies were murdered today.  Their body parts were counted by the employee who does that job; not to give any respect to the body, but to make sure that all of the baby was removed from their mothers womb.  These babies will be disposed of as hazardous waste in those red lined trash cans you see the doctor throw away a syringe or a swab or gloves he used to examine an open wound.  The only true word here is WASTE.  Those lives that God sent into the world to be a gift, a unique and unrepeatable sign of His love for us, an image and likeness of Himself that will never be seen again, those lives have been wasted today.  I know that this may seem an odd way to be affected by the death of my brothers, but I feel the same way about their deaths as I did my miscarriages, they did not choose their death nor did I, but instead accept it from the Lord as a part of His mercy.  These abortions though are chosen deaths and they cry out to God for justice.  So I stand there outside this place of death and beg God to send His mercy.  Do you understand that these babies died in Pensacola today because we do not heed these words: You shall not go about spreading slander among your kinsmen; nor shall you stand by idly when your neighbor’s life is at stake. I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:16 I am sorry but, these are the thoughts I have.  It was a great joy and consolation to see my brothers so honored and to see the love that all have poured out on my family.  I have felt as though only consolations have been poured into our hearts and I am so grateful for all of our friends who strengthened us with their love.  The real wound that I feel in my heart, the real sorrow that tears at it is these babies and families that will never get to mourn their dead.  These babies who will not be carried into the church with baptismal pall placed over their coffin.  They will not be buried.  And who will console their parents?  Maybe I should not send this to anyone.  Maybe I should only tell you of my immense gratitude for the incredible love and support that I and my family have received which is more than I could have ever imagined.  I have felt more loved and more touched by the kindness and generosity of others this past week, than I have ever felt in my entire life.  So why not just share that beautiful incredible mercy of God which I have received?  Why tell you of the real sorrow that I felt today seeing the overwhelming juxtaposition of beauty and grace at my brothers death held side by side with the blackness and injustice of those lives that I witnessed being taken today.  Yes it hurt so much more to see those babies killed now that my brothers have died because those babies didn’t have to die today.  They didn’t have to. I wanted to say to that woman walking in my brothers just died, but your child doesn’t have to.  So my joy and peace is from my brothers  and my mourning and sorrow is for those poor babies at the mill. I stood there and in the face of death and I felt love.  Each of those men and women who went in there today I cherished dearly and I beg you to keep them in your prayers.  Gregory, David, Raphael, please intercede for them and us before the Sacred Heart of Our Lord Jesus as we cry out, “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.” 
Yours in Christ,
“In the 8 weeks since we held our first training in Pensacola, I have handed out more pro-life literature and spoken to more pregnant mothers in need than I have in 7 years.”   - Dr. Ernie Cyr, Executive Director of the Emerald Coast Coalition for Life, 40 Days for Life Pensacola Campaign Coordinator

“In the 8 weeks since we held our first training in Pensacola, I have handed out more pro-life literature and spoken to more pregnant mothers in need than I have in 7 years.”
- Dr. Ernie Cyr, Executive Director of the Emerald Coast Coalition for Life, 40 Days for Life Pensacola Campaign Coordinator

Sidewalk Advocates for Life Training


A $25 donation appreciated 

St. Sylvester Catholic Church, Classroom 1

6464 Gulf Breeze Pkwy, Navarre

RSVP at eccflife@gmail.com or call 850-889-1035

“In the 8 weeks since we held our first training in Pensacola, I have handed out more pro-life literature and spoken to more pregnant mothers in need than I have in 7 years.” 

- Dr. Ernie Cyr, Executive Director of the Emerald Coast Coalition for Life, 40 Days for Life Pensacola Campaign Coordinator

Have you always wondered what to say to abortion-minded women and men?
Sidewalk Advocates for Life might just be the answer to your prayers!
Our mission is… To train, equip, and support local communities across the United States and the world in “sidewalk advocacy”: to be the hands and feet of Christ, offering loving, life-affirming alternatives to all present at the abortion center, thereby eliminating demand and ending abortion.
***Lunch will be served – Workbook provided**
$25 donation appreciated
St. Sylvester Catholic Church, Classroom 1 6464 Gulf Breeze Pkwy, Navarre


A mother chose life this Thursday afternoon in Pensacola!  She was three weeks along.  She received one of the new “There is Hope” pamphlets which were made for the new Sidewalk Advocates for Life program.  After reading this she chose to keep her baby and seek help from one of our local pregnancy resource centers!  Hallelujah!  This is the 15th mother to choose life during this spring’s 40 Days for Life in Pensacola!

And tomorrow, Palm Sunday, April 13, 40 Days for Life comes to an end.  We will close this spring campaign with a Jericho March and Victory Celebration at 3 PM in front of the American Family Planning abortion facility at 6115 Village Oaks Drive.  Invite others to join you.  We’ll see you Palm Sunday at 3 PM, the Hour of Mercy.

Together in service to Christ and his children.


Please pray for a local mother who was very abortion minded….and is now a VERY BRAVE MOTHER in need of your prayers!  The father of the child conviced the mother to not go through with the abortion.  She continued to contemplate abortion as she has had many abortions in the past, and suffers from Post Abortion Stress Syndrome.  She feels incapable of mothering a child, and is very open to adoption .  Many people between sidwalk counselors, pregnancy resource center counselors, maternity home conselors and now adoption resource counselors are working to help this very fragile mother to create and adoption plan that she feels most comfortable with.  She has already met with a mother  for her child. Please pray for this mother and this couple praying to adopt, that God will give them all the strength, love, mercy, and healing that they need to proceed with these adoption plans and provide a most beautiful future for this baby.

Below is a powerful story written by a mother who gave her child up for adoption.  Have a box of tissues close by.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

I Am a Birth Mother

My hope in writing this post; is that I can be a voice for other women like me.
I know there has to be stories just like mine. Women who have been where I have been. I’ve never met another birth mother…but then, we don’t exactly wear it on our shirts do we?
There is so much more to adoption than the child. Not every child who is adopted was first an orphan. Not every child who is adopted was unwanted. I believe there is only love in adoption.
Only love.
Even if the birth mother can’t say it or even see it; there is only love. Even if she can’t understand it; giving the child a life is only love.
But I know my story isn’t the only one that gets told this way…
and there’s so much to say…and never enough words….I’ve never really told my story, not like this….so here it is, in the best I can give…..

When I was eighteen years old, I got pregnant. The first time I had sex.
The first time I had sex; I wasn’t planning on having sex. I was planning on having dinner with a guy who said he wanted to have dinner. I found myself in a situation I didn’t really know how to get myself out of. I was a girl. I was naive. I was foolish. I guess I thought that if I just gave in, got it over with; I could go home and forget the whole thing.
Honestly; I don’t know what I thought. I don’t know why I didn’t just punch him as hard as I could in the balls & leave…maybe that’s something you learn from time….(or maybe that’s something you learn in looking back and you definitely tell your daughters to do…)
It was awkward, and ugly, and not at all what it should have been.
I was an eighteen year old girl who didn’t keep track of when my period came or didn’t come; because whether or not it came exactly every 28 days didn’t make the difference between pregnant or not.
I had no idea when I was supposed to get it, but after a couple weeks; I was paranoid that I wasn’t going to get it. And I called him to tell him so. He took the Lord’s name in vain & said to me, “….that’s really what I need in my life right now, Kaedra. F***. Thanks.”
And that’s the last time I ever spoke to him.
In the days and weeks after; my brain was a jumbled wreck. It ruined me. All I could think of was how awful an experience it was. And I promised myself I would wipe that experience from my memory the first chance I got. I would just “replace” my first time with another first time. A “better” first time.
Nobody knew I’d done it. Not even my best friend. Just me.
Just me and God.
Just me and God, and the devil.
The latter of whom, twisted and tortured me with it.

And a handful of weeks later, I was presented with that chance I was planning on, and I took it.
And it really wasn’t any better.
And I hadn’t fixed a single thing…since I was already pregnant.

I found out for sure in a McDonald’s bathroom stall. Alone. I read the box in my car, then threw it away before I walked in, hiding the pregnancy test in my pocket. When the test results came back, my brain was so dizzy that I couldn’t remember which lines meant yes, and which lines meant no. So I drove back to CVS to buy another one, and went through the whole thing again.
I think when I took the first test…I knew. I think before I even bought the first test I knew.
But when I took that second test, I sat right there on the dirty, disgusting McDonald’s bathroom floor and cried. The floor felt much cleaner than I felt of myself.

I lived at home.
I was supposed to be the virgin daughter of the preacher.
I was scared, and ashamed, and sick.

I worked as a server then. I couldn’t focus at all at work that night, and when my boss pulled me aside to ask me what was wrong; I told her. She was the first person I told. The first thing she asked was had I told my parents. When I said no, she told me not to worry; we’d figure it out. I asked her if I was going to get fired.
I don’t know why I thought I would get fired, or why that was important to me. I guess I just assumed every grown-up in the world believe in purity, and none of them would want to have a single, pregnant teenager working for them.
Like I said, I was naive.

In the weeks before I told my parents, a girl I worked with somehow figured it out one night. And the next day, she pulled me into the corner, opened my hand, and put a scrap of paper in it. She closed my fingers over it with her own, and said, “I’ll give you a ride.”
I asked her what it was, and she told me, “it’s the number for an abortion clinic.”
I jerked my hand from hers and dropped the paper to the floor. I felt sick, and suddenly very heavy, and so hot.
She said, “Kaedra, your dad is a preacher! You need to take care of this before you start to show. They will burn you at the stake.”
And I said with tears in my eyes, “then I’ll go down in flames…”

Of course I didn’t want to be pregnant. But I was. Of course I didn’t want to bring that shame upon my family, and myself. But I would. There was a life inside me. A real, heart-beating, life. And my only job from then on out, no matter what, was to keep it going.
At night I cried into my pillow as silently as I could. I dreamed about running away, and then coming home in 9 months. But where could I go?And how would I explain?
I remember seeing something in the back of a Point of Grace cd, about a place for pregnant girls, a safe haven of sorts. I think it was even free to go…but you had to tell your parents first. I couldn’t think of how to tell my parents. I told my best friend, and she drove me to the Pregnancy Resource Center in the next town over where they confirmed what I already knew.
I decided to write a letter to my parents to give to them. I kept it in my purse for a few days; but left my purse in another friend’s car, where she found it and read it.
I know my friend meant well; but her showing up at my door the next morning and making me tell my parents…was the worst possible thing.
As an adult now; I can imagine how I would feel if my daughter told me something so personal and heartbreaking, while she sat between two girls who weren’t mine.
My mom cried silently. My dad just looked out the window. They dismissed my friends, and my dad mentioned reading a prayer request for a couple who wanted to adopt a baby…

My parents were amazing. They were obviously disappointed in me. But they never, never, never, not one time ever made me feel like they loved me any less, or that they would not stand with me through it all.
The coming days, and weeks, and months were awful for my family. The church that we thought was our refuge and our home, became a nightmare that some of us still struggle with today; twelve years later. Friends became enemies, and sinners showed their sinful hearts.
I felt betrayed. I felt unloved. I felt as though I was a stain that needed to be swiftly & quietly removed from there.
The church was split. Split beyond repair. There were people who stood by us, but there were just as many who did not.
My dad resigned.
We retreated to our home; where we became closer to each other. Most days; it was our refuge.
And some days it felt like our captivity.

I can’t remember exactly when I decided that I wanted to place my child for adoption. I cried and prayed so many nights about it…my parents were incredible, and were prepared to support me in whatever my decision was; which they left entirely up to me. My brothers were amazing, too. They never treated me any differently. I knew if I decided to raise my child, they would all have played such important roles in that life.
But when I made up my mind; I knew, that I knew, that I knew…that this child growing inside me, was always supposed to be someone else’s child. When I made up my mind, I never changed it. I never wavered in my decision. I was certain, full of faith, that I was doing exactly what God had planned for me, and for my firstborn child.

I don’t remember how we got in contact with them, but we reached out to the couple my dad had received the prayer request for. We went through the legal process of an open adoption. The birth father needed to sign a surrender form. The attorney made several attempts to contact him, and even mailed him the paperwork, asking him to sign it, have it notarized, and mail it back. When she still didn’t hear from him; she just went right to his  job. Obviously I wasn’t there, but I gathered from her that he said something similar to what he said to me that day on the phone; and asked for a pen.

We met the adopting parents, we spent time with them. When my mom & I went to the ultrasound to find out the sex; we went shopping and mailed them a reveal package full of blue.

They were beautiful, and wonderful, and exactly perfect for my child, and I knew it. I never doubted it. It felt right, because it was right. It is an amazing experience…to walk through something so incredible, and know you are seeing, and feeling, and being, exactly what God had planned for you before time began….to see how He makes beauty from ashes….

I went into labor on a hot summer day, my due date, actually. I remember my dad pushing me into the hospital in a wheelchair, and getting suddenly very overwhelmed and crying that it was finally happening. It was such a strange mix of emotions….there was a small fear gripping me, or maybe a bittersweet sorrow…that my time with my son was coming to a close. The nights that I couldn’t sleep from the heartburn, so I would sit up in bed with headphones on my stomach, playing music and talking to him. The little flutters, and hiccups, and kicks…it was time to pass on the duty of caring for his precious life.
And at the same time, I was full of joy. A family of 2 was becoming a family of 3. A husband and wife were becoming a mom and a dad. That’s always exciting.
They met us at the hospital, and came in the room to visit with me before the labor got too intense.
The delivery was a little wild, and I really don’t remember everything that happened, but I know I was close to being an emergency c-section. Even still; he came out healthy, and alive, and well.
My parents were both there with me, and my dad got to cut the umbilical cord. We spent a few minutes with him, holding him and seeing him before my dad carried him to meet his parents for the first time.
He was quite surely the most perfect thing I had ever seen in my entire life. I loved him with a bursting love. It took less than a moment to know that I wanted every single best thing in the world for him. That I wanted him to be safe, and loved, and happy, and blessed, and to know joy all the days of his life. It took less than a moment to know in the depths of my heart, and in every part of my being that I would give up my life for his to keep going. I wanted to give him every good thing. And I knew I was giving him the first good thing, and the best thing I could. A mom and a dad. A mom and a dad who were ready for him, ready to love him, ready to teach him. Ready to be parents, and not just kids themselves.
He was mine. And he was theirs. And there’s no other way to say that or to elaborate that….

My son’s parents were adopting “out of state”; their home wasn’t here. So they had to stay in the state for so many days before we could complete final paperwork. We visited them at their hotel, and they visited us at our home. It was such an intimate and special bonding time for us all. We were two families, but we were one.

I have never regretted my decision.
I have never regretted my decision.
That being said…in the days after giving birth; when I went home to recover; I was a mess. My body was a wreck. My heart was tired. I was happy, and content with everything that had taken place. But my body expected there to be a baby to hold, to nurse, to care for. My arms ached, my chest hurt like nothing I’d ever felt. I would cry, great heaving cries. I missed him, but not in a way that I wanted him for myself. I still, all this time later, can’t explain it rightly…
Unless you’ve walked where I’ve walked…you just really can’t understand…
I didn’t “wish” I’d kept him…but he had been with me for so long…he grew beside my heart. His heart knew my heart in a way, at the time; that no other heart knew. Of course I loved him. Of course I missed him. The heart misses what makes it whole. He was a part of me. He is a part of me. He is the first piece of my heart that walks, and breathes, and lives outside of me. There will always be a separation, a missing piece, a place only he fills.

The doctor put me on a sleep aid, but it made my dreams so crazy. I would wake my parents up screaming and crying. I had nightmares I couldn’t escape. It was a hard way to heal….but I did heal. I did stop hurting, the nightmares went away, and I slept on my own.

My son’s parents sent me letters, and cards, and pictures, and videos, too. I sent birthday cards, and Christmas cards. We kept in touch. And I got to see my son grow, and change, and look like me, and be left-handed like me. We met for dinner once when he was six years old. It was so fun to spend time with him, and talk to him about what he wants to be when he grows up, what he likes in school, the things he likes to do. As the years have gone by, the letters and pictures are further apart. Of course the further into technology we go; letters in mailboxes get less and less. And that’s okay.
Mostly, I see his life in snapshots.
And I rejoice greatly in each of them. His life brings joy to me.
Beauty from ashes…

There has not been one day, not one single day in the 4,178 days that have passed since he was born; that he has not quietly passed through my mind for a moment or more. Sometimes it’s only a thought at the end of the day that is, “I almost went the whole day without thinking about him once…”
And then I’m thinking about him.
His life changed mine. In all the best ways.

As a girl who had given birth; I knew who I was. I knew I was a mother, a birth mother. It was solid. It was sure. It was beauty, and good, and right.

As a girl who had a terrible experience with a man; I was lost.
As a girl who had a terrible experience with a church; I was bitter.

It took me years, and mistakes, and finally letting go of trying to control how my life went; to find peace. And to find healing. To find mercy, and truth, and incredibly beautiful redeeming grace.
It took me over a decade to stop thinking that “being the preacher’s daughter who got pregnant before she got married” was who I was. It took me all that time to stop caring what any-earthly-body thought of me.
For years I was angry at the man who got me pregnant. I hated him. But God can change a sinner’s heart. And I let go of that anger. And I forgave him; even though I’ve not seen him since that night. Nor spoke to him since that day.
And honestly; even though I’ve forgiven him, truly forgiven him…I don’t know what I’d do if I found myself face to face with him. It makes my hands shake and my heart race to think about it. It’s not something I would ever want to actually happen.
And for the longest time I never wanted to see a long list of people from the church my dad was the preacher of, either. And I’ll be honest…I did not have loving feelings for them.
But God has a sense of humor doesn’t He? And today; I see some of those people quite often. And I don’t feel the slightest pang of anger or hurt. And I don’t feel like all they see is the girl who got pregnant.

A week before I met my husband; I decided to let go…to follow God where He was going to lead me anyway. To follow without kicking and screaming. And the day I met my husband; the moment he was walking through the doors of the bank I was working in; I was praying for God to show me where my path was taking me.
And I’ve found so much healing. So much joy. So much peace, with my husband, with our children, and in our life.
After I gave birth to my first son; I was terrified, for years, to have any more children.
I was scared he would think I didn’t love him if I had “my own” children. I was even more terrified to have another boy. That he would think I replaced him. Or that he wasn’t good enough, and they were.

And honestly…sometimes even now…the devil will creep in and try to fill me with that fear. It can be crippling. But God is bigger than the devil. And the truth always has the final say. And I still know, that I know, that I know, that he was always supposed to be exactly who he is, with exactly the parents he has.

My lastborn child, the boy who calls me mom, was born on a hot summer day, in the same month, two weeks (and nine years) behind my firstborn. He’s left handed, too. I call them “My August Boys”.
Like I said, God has a sense of humor, doesn’t He?

I have started writing this post….so many…so, so, so many times. And I’ve never been able to finish it. There’s always more to say. Even now, there’s so much more to it; to me, to him, to his parents, than I can’t put into words. But my hope is that this will suffice. To help…in some way…people who don’t understand. To give a voice and a story to other birth moms who maybe can’t put theirs into words yet.

And I also want to say….now that you have read this; here are some things to stop saying to birth moms~

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea.”
Sorry for what? Don’t give me your condolences. I am not in mourning. There was not a life taken. There was a life given.
Given by my own accord.
Not taken from me.
Don’t tell me you’re sorry. I’m not.

“I could never give my child up for adoption.”

All this implies is that a birth mom didn’t love her child as much as you love your child. This says that the birth mom was careless, or selfish. This. Is. Not. The right thing to say.
To that I always want to say, “Why couldn’t you? Why couldn’t you give your child the best possible life you could at that time in your life? Why couldn’t you choose life and love over anything else? Why would you even have to think about that for a nano second?”

“Did you not want the baby?”
Just. Don’t.
Of course I wanted him. I wanted him to live, to love, to flourish. If someone said, “hey you can breathe, or he can, what do you pick?” I’d start holding my breath.
Just. Don’t. 

“I’m sure it was the best thing/right thing for you at the time.”
Does anybody really, truly believe that birth mothers choose adoption for their own sake? It wasn’t best for me.
Birth mothers don’t think of themselves first. If it was best for the birth mother, she’d probably be the only mother.

“Well you made the right decision.”
Maybe you think this is encouraging. But it’s not. It’s quite judgmental, actually. Do you go around to young, single mothers & say, “You made the wrong decision!”
Probably not. So don’t say that.

“Does he know that you’re his real mom?”
Uuuuuuum he knows that his mom is his real mom. He knows that I’m his birth mom. And by the way, when you say “real mom”, do you mean that there are pretend moms, fake moms? What makes a mom a “real” mom? I’m really his real, real-life birth mom. And his real mom, who is real, is his real-life, real mom. Who happened to adopt him.
Stop saying this.

There’s too many things wrong with how people approach adoption stories, and the real-life people who are a part of them. Maybe it’s just because people who have never been a part of it just don’t know enough about it….I don’t know.
But I do know the best thing you can say to a birth mom is this, “You are so brave. You must really love your child.” and leave it at that. And on the flip side; the best thing you can say to an adopted mom (or dad) is “You are so brave. You must really love your child.” and leave it at that.

There is only love in adoption.
Only love.


**follow up here ** {edited 1/25/2014}

Taken Fron:  http://raisingbluebirds.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-am-birth-mother.html?m=1

Events this week

Closing Mass for 40 Days for Life at Little Flower Parish in Pensacola – Saturday, April 12th at 8:15 AM – 6495 Lillian Hwy, Pensacola



Jericho March and Victory Celebration for 40 Days for Life – Sunday, April 13th at 3 PM – In front of the American Family Planning abortion facility, 6115 Village Oaks Dr.


We will march together 7 times in front of the American Family Planning facility in prayerful silence.  After the seventh time, we will altogether ask Jesus to end abortion in Pensacola seven times.  This is an event you do not want to miss!  We will also celebrate the blessings from this 40 Days for Life campaign in Pensacola.

Also, this past Friday, we began a novena of prayers which will continue through Saturday, April, 12th.  You are welcome to join us in this novena of prayers. 

Prayer to St. Jude

O holy St. Jude, great in grace, rich in miracles,

Faithful intercessor of all who invoke your patronage in time of

Need.  I come to you seeking your special aid before the throne

of Almighty God.  Help me in my present and urgent petition.

(State your prayer request – For the ending of abortion in Pensacola)

In gratitude, I promise to make your name known,

So that others can invoke your heavenly assistance,

To the glory of God and for the good of souls.  Amen.


Saint Pio Prayer

O God, You gave Saint Pio of Pietrelcina, Capuchin priest,

The great privilege of participating in a unique way in the

Passion of Your Son.

Grant me through his intercession the grace (mention your petition)

of the ending of abortion in Pensacola which I ardently desire;

And above all, grant me the grace of living in conformity with

The death of Jesus, to arrive at the glory of the resurrection.

Glory be to the Father…. (repeat three times)